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10/09/2009

Tired

After reading Joanna's post (from Jbreezy's Makeup) about betrayal from a friend...I've decided to put down my feelings into words on the recent happenings in my life. I'm sorry I'm writing about the sad stuff cause this is a beauty blog after all but I just need a place to rant.

I have this err, friend. Well I considered her a friend at the start of the year and we've decided to open an online website selling make up and skincare to the consumers in our little town. Just fine right? But she had to ruin it all. When a friend of hers asked her where she is getting the stocks, she was stupid or naive enough to show her our supplier's website. Now that friend of hers opened her online shop as well! I know having competition is inevitable for business but to stupidly or naively create one yourself? I was speechless when I found out. It took me weeks to get over it. I had to redraw my business plan and everything and she still had the nerve to said she still wanted to be partners and I still have to give her 50% when I started my own business.

But I still got over the whole thing because the only thing I had to lose in the above situation is money and it's not like I'm desperate for my money. Some side income would always be a good thing. The other stuff that has been happening to me are far worse and are taking a toll of my mental wellbeing cause I can't stop thinking and finding fault with myself and everyone who was involved in the situation.

For this semester, I am the leader of 3 groups cause I am the more aggressive and outspoken one out of the whole lot. Just fine again right? Great even. Seriously, I don't mind being a leader. But MOST of my group members are so incompetent that I can't believe they are really university students. For all 3 groups we have to do a presentation on our chosen topics. So far 2 of the groups have really disappointed me and I couldn't lashed out at them cause it will be really unprofessional.

When we present on our topic, we have to fully research our topic and understand it well to answer the questions raised by our audience and we can't rely on our notes/presentation slides. We must always face our audience and not just read out our presentation. For the first group, I admit it was partly my fault cause being a leader I didn't make sure they have the ability to present (well, you know, we are SECOND and THIRD year students). The presentation was disastrous, 2 out of 4 group members read from notes and slides only WITHOUT even making eye contact with the audience and when the questions came, they were unable to answer the part they've presented about and I had to step in to answer the questions. Boy, was I pissed. But I got over it as well even though my marks weren't really what I expected.

The next presentation was yesterday, I held a meeting to rehearse our presentation. I checked all their notes and made sure they understood their parts. During the rehearsal, I noticed that the group members still relied too much on their notes (which are not cue cards mind you but big pieces of note papers) so I told them to refrain on reading the notes. Fine, just fine. But when the presentation came...they did as they were told, no reading from their notes, it was much, much worse than that! They had their back to the audience the entire time they were presenting and just read from our power point slides without even any elaboration and examples. I was like...WHAT THE FUCK?! After finishing the presentation, us as a whole group went to the lecturer for feedback and she told us that she was really disappointed in us and could see we didn't really put in any effort to prepare for our presentation. I wanted to scream right there and then.

The peer review given by one group was really low as well cause that group had a grudge against me for asking a question during their presentation. The question I asked was "What strategy would you recommend for your example company?" and they couldn't answer it. Sigh... I'm surrounded by R-tards. I know I sound all arrogant when I'm writing all these... But seriously, they don't act like university students to me.

The last group was by far the worst one. A group member kept on getting AWOL on me and the work they gave me was... not of a really high level. Can you even believe some of my group members still don't know how to reference their work? I have to act like a fucking nanny to them and kept on reminding them their work is due, the silly mistakes they have made and the meetings they have to go to. For the first half of the semester, I was this angry little creature, creating a negative and sad vibe wherever I go. My parent was so sick of my complaining and crying. I couldn't sleep at night too.

Some of you might just say "Just chill, girl. It's just some grades." But I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want to waste the expensive fee they're paying for my education. Although it's not my choice to attend university but I still want to do good in it. But the most important thing is, I don't want to fail because of somebody's incompetencies. Right now, I'm just trying to convince myself it's just pure bad luck meeting all my group members and I should take it with a grain of salt and move on. Even if I fail, I will just have to start the unit all over again and work harder.

I do realized that maybe 85% of the world's population would gladly change life with me as my problems are really mundane compared to starvation, wars, diseases, natural disasters (bless those in Philippines) and all the horrible things happening around the world. But still... this mental part of me just wouldn't let it go. Not yet. It's not healing fast enough.

What do you guys think? Do you have any advice? Am I being too whiny? Should I still be all nice and professional or just ignore them? Have you ever come across these kinds of situations/

P.S.: It really made me appreciate the friends I had in New Zealand more especially Huei Yin, Grace and Jim. I'm sorry I haven't been in contact for a while now but I'm too screwed up and tired to pretend to be happy anymore. Sorry.

9 comments:

plue said...

Sorry to hear what has happen, dearie. I met bitches and bastards like those too when I was in uni. Dealing with them was so difficult >_<

I totally can understand when you wanted a better level of work because you are a 2/3 yr student, but they aren't performing up to it. Maybe you can try consult your lecturer or tutor about it, because I am sure they can help, if you had tried your best and put in effort in everything, I don't see why you should let them pull your grades down.

I had my grades marked by my lec/tut alone and didn't give any to my groupmates because they simply didn't do their job and I had to do everything for them. I think your lecturer will understand your position.

If they don't, well I can only say bear with it and do what you need to do. Or you can be cheeky a little, don't put their names in it! But I think best go consult your lec/ tut for the best solution. Otherwise you may wanna discuss with your groupmates about it.

If they still give you the same problem after talking, then maybe you might ask them to redo instead of you clearing their mess. Maybe they have you to rely on so they give u stupid work.

There's alot of maybes, but I hope you stay strong. As long as you do your part, you should be safe. Lec/tut don't bite, ya know :P

MilknCookiie said...

Funny, I had a presentation yesterday too. We had to present our concept to our teacher/consultant. Our given project is to write an advisory report for a certain Dutch magazine. D: ew.

Surprisingly, the project group I'm in is pretty good. I've been in a few shitty groups before so I know how frustrating it can be! I can't believe you have to lead THREE group. That is ridiculous!

Sometimes you may feel like grabbing a fellow group member by the shoulders and shake the living daylight out of him/her butI'm afraid that's not the right thing to do. :P Relax and talk about it with your group members. It's best to be honest about how you feel. Perhaps organize some kind of feedback session? D:

♥ Milk

Blair said...

Oh god, thank god my fellow coursemates are kiasu. We'd try our best to do everything as perfectly as possible and run spy missions on other groups haha!

The Castledew primer is KRW 7790 for 45 ml. Pretty cheap :)

Jbreezybaby said...

oh hun... i feel your pain. I know EXACTLY how it feels like regarding working with people who are just incompetent in every aspect. That is one reason why i hate working in groups... not that im selfish or anything but i do have bad experiences with people not showing effort and they just threw everything on to you. You are not whiny hun, anyone in your position would feel exactly the same way. Im glad u did this post since reading mine lol. i know i have a beauty blog, but its still MY blog and i can tell anything i want. its a way to vent out our feelings and it does somehow make you feel better. now regarding ur friend... psssttt, forget about her. its sad but yes, theres soo many people who are naive and just flat out stupid. Don't let these people get you... you did your part you put effort into your work give urself credit for that. and like you said, our problems is not as significant as those who are struggling to live everyday, and we should be thankful at least for that. but yes, dont let these get you. be strong, and things happen for a reason. *hugs*

Iyah said...

OMGOSH! Yeah that friend is so naive. I mean she doesn't know how to do business. Even for families, business is still business.

Yumeko said...

HUGS
i dont think you are being whiny

i encountered such people when i was in school as well and they drove me mad! i had a girl in one group who did no contribution and finally she left the group to join another one in 2nd semester, her group's project suddenly miraculously looked just the project plan i drew up in semester 1!!
if it makes u feel any better, these sch things will pass and you will get so much further in life than them

and as for ur naive friend, she is silly and to still demand 50%!? she is pushing her luck. needs a good shakedown.

Iyah said...

Btw, the halloween photo was taken uhm Oct 01 of this month.. I just started having break outs like 3 days ago on my cheeks. On photos, not noticeable much but I have some on my chin as well - concealer :P

Shop N' Chomp said...

Hey Lisa, so sorry to hear about your situation. :( Consulting your lecturer is a good idea. Hope things improve for you! *hugs*

Pop Champagne said...

sorry to hear these things!

I honestly believe that 60% of population are incompetitent and incable of making their own decisions/ keeping to their words when they say that they're going to get something done. Unless you nag and nag and nag them and be a total parent about it.

As for your friend who blab about the supplier to other people, that's just stupid!! Maybe she wasn't thinking when she said those things but things like that are definately confidental! I'm sure that Apple, RIM and Nokia don't go around blabbing where their get their latest technology from. Infact someone from our company got fired yesterday for leaking out info like that to a few tech websites!

Ugh, stupid people :)